Gode råd for å takle stress

[brits]

25 WAYS TO COPE WITH STRESS

l. Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out.
See how many you can do at a time.
2. Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa, and vice-versa.
3. Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.
4. When someone says "Have a nice day", tell them you have other plans.
5. Make a list of things to do that you have already done.
6. Dance naked in front of your pets.
7. Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send him to pre-school
as if nothing is wrong.
8. Fill out your tax form using Roman Numerals.
9. Tape pictures of your boss on watermelons and launch them from high
places.
10. Leaf through "National Geographic" and draw underwear on the natives.
11. Tattoo "Out to Lunch" on your forehead.
12. Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day.
13. Buy a subscription to "Sleazoid Weekly" and send it to your boss's
husband/wife.
14. Pay your electric bill in pennies.
15. Drive to work in reverse.
16. Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like.
17. Tell your boss to "blow it out your mule", and let him figure it out.
18. Sit naked on a shelled hard-boiled egg.
19. Polish your car with earwax.
20. Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages.
21. Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back
to you.
22. Braid the hairs in each nostril.
23. Write a short story using alphabet soup.
24. Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they're in
jail.
25. Make a language up and ask people for directions in it.

Bonus: Replace the filling of a Twinkie with ketchup and put it back
in the wrapper.

Brits

[Studine]

Haha! Denne var bra brits!!

Likte denne godt, eg:

4. When someone says "Have a nice day", tell them you have other plans.

Ellers er vel denne ganske aktuell:

8. Fill out your tax form using Roman Numerals.

Du har framdeles tid til å endre sjølvmeldinga til romerske tal. Set i gong!

[brits]

Remember: Stressed spelled bass-ackward is Desserts!

You know you're experiencing stress when...

- You can achieve a "runners high" by sitting up.
- The sun is too loud.
- You are missing several days from this week.
- Trees begin to chase you.
- You can see individual air molecules vibrating.
- You wonder if brewing is *really* a necessary step for the consumption
of coffee.
- You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you've said it before.
- You can hear mimes.
- Things become "very clear." Everything is "very clear, indeed."
- You ask the drive-thru attendant if you can get your order to go.
- Your heart beats in 7/8 time.
- You and reality file for divorce.
- You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you've said it before.
- It appears that people are speaking to you in binary code.
- You can travel without moving.
- Antacid tablets become your sole source of nutrition.
- You discover the aesthetic beauty of office supplies.
- You begin to talk to yourself, then disagree about the subject, get into
a nasty tiff over it, lose, and refuse to speak to yourself for a week.
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Mary thought she had finally found a way to convince her friend Patty
that she needed to find ways to relax. Mary invited her to dinner and
while busy preparing the food, Patty agreed to watch Mary's video tape
on stress management-relaxation techniques.
Twenty minutes had passed and Patty came into the kitchen and
handed Mary the tape. "It was good," she said, "but I don't need it."
"But it's a 90-minute video," Mary stated. "You couldn't have
watched the whole thing."
"Yes, I did," Patty replied. "I put it on fast-forward."
=============---------------============++++++++++++===========----=======
A very nervous man, accompanied by his nagging wife, was examined by
a doctor. Every time the doctor would ask him a question, she would butt
in and needle her husband about something.
After checking the chart, he nodded and wrote the man a prescription
for a powerful tranquilliser. "You are under a great deal of stress", he
told the man.
The man asked, "How often do I take these?"
"Let's start off with once every six hours. But they're not for you,"
replied the doctor. "They're for your wife."
=============---------------============++++++++++++===========----=======
Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress. I keep
losing my temper with people.
Doctor: I see, tell me about your problem.
Patient: I just did, you stupid bastard!